When I think of my Grandma, I think of a woman who lived her life to the fullest. She wasn't afraid to wholeheartedly pursue that which inspired her. Even at the expense of societal norms and expectations, she followed the loud beating of her heart to make a life for herself which transcended her years and had an impact well beyond her physical existence.

Some people pack a lot of life into the years they are given and by goodness, my Grandma did just that.

I am so lucky to have known my Grandma in the way that I did. An ever-present source of kindness, love and generosity - she never hesitated to lend a helping hand or give a hug or a kiss. Grandma or "Grammy" (as we grandchildren affectionately called her) always knew what we needed often times before we did. I am well aware not all grandchildren get to know their grandparents in this way and I am so grateful for our relationship. Seeing how she lived her life didn't instill in me the idea that a woman can do what she wants - it instilled in me the idea that woman does what they want (and the rest can take it or leave it.)

The richness of her ways took me years to fully understand but in my womanhood I see the gentle force my grandmother was.

It is a gift to be able to write and share a piece of my grandmother in this way. It is a homage to her and I would be remiss to not acknowledge that some of this ability is inherited. While each of us is a unique and whole being, sometimes we have family members on our path who bring out our spirit. The rock solid foundation of my family's love paired with the wild calling I hear from within creates the whole. That call is a siren song to the way I need to live my life. I am lucky to have had relatives before me who have blazed their own trail who I honor with my writing and spirit towards life today.

The soul is a beautiful and freeing and honest thing. The more we answer to the musings of our soul, the more in touch we become with things much beyond ourselves. Our soul invites us to play, it is up to us to respond. There is no right or wrong way to do this - merely there is alignment and on the way to alignment. We must remember on the spiritual path to not take anything too seriously, lest of all ourselves.

My Grandma showed her grandchildren and the children at Sunny Beam unconditional love. She was a beam of sun. She made us laugh, she taught us songs, we painted pictures, we played card games, we gardened together, we read books and we baked pies. There were a lot of smiles when Grammy was in the room.

You could say it started before my Grandma came into existence. A family of wanderers and people who blazed their own path, it was innate in her being that she would enter the world with a healthy appetite for adventure and a natural inclination for living deeply. At one years old, she was being shown the wild ways of Washington and this love of nature continued in her until her final days.

Some of us hear the call loudly. And some of us howl back.

My Grandma met my Grandpa at the University of Washington. Already a rarity for a woman of that generation to be at college, her and my Grandpa knew early on that they had the same goals for the immediate future. Him being a Catholic and her being a Protestant (and my Grandma, never afraid of a challenge), they eloped in San Francisco defying societal norms.

When they began dating he was called "the catch of Capitol Hill" and she was delighted be a loving wife, homemaker and soon to be mother of three young girls. My Grandma was one of the most stylish people I ever met and gave Coco Chanel a run for her money. That is a whole other piece within itself. Looking at the photos, my Grandma made it look seamless. To her, I believe it genuinely was. Some people have such a capacity and depth for living they can encompass many different roles throughout their life. My Grandma certainly was that. Reflecting on this now and from my perspective, some people enjoy the adventure of being fully embodied where they are in that moment. As time comes, the calling of new skills to learn, new paths to tread emerges. However, in the moment, they are fully and wholeheartedly dedicated to their pursuits. Stated differently, there are many ways to live life and some people are given multiple paths to walk during their course of it.

As a homemaker, she enjoyed cooking, baking, gardening, sewing, going to church, time with her children, Sunday drives with her husband in his vintage cars, hosting parties, summers at the beach with the neighbors and generally just being a lovely wife who maintained a well ordered and beautiful home. My Mom and my Aunts talk about this time with their eyes aglow.

As my grandparents relationship fell away, my Grandma emerged into the revolutionized version of herself. Even as stereotypes were changing and social norms were being revamped, I imagine going through a divorce would have been radical for the 70's. Yet my Grandma knew what needed to be done to and she had the courage and self reliance to do it. My Grandma revolutionized her life through her love for herself. That love drove her to find new mountains to climb, valleys to explore, loves to experience. At the time when she made the decision to move on from her life with my Grandpa, certainly she would have not known what lay in the path ahead. However, as I have often felt in my own life, when we start to have an idea and a feeling of what life could be we are drawn to it. We may not know at the time what the actualities will be like but we know the feeling we want to experience. It is a deep calling, an innate one that when answered fulfills on a level that can only be called spiritual. Perhaps this is a privileged viewpoint on change. Perhaps some change happens when we least expect or want it. But I feel if we listen deeply, we can always hear the murmurings of our true path. Sometimes these changes arrive abruptly and are heartbreaking and terrifying. Yet we are forced suddenly into a path of self reliance, self care and self discovery that may be an ever providing spring in the days and years to come. Knowing that whatever we weathered on our own can be weathered in the company of other people moving forward. The change that was perhaps thrust upon my Grandma may be have been an unwelcome one. But I'll be dammed if Marge Stanley was not going to make the most of it.

After the divorce, my Grandma moved to Sun Valley to get away for a bit. She needed the mountain fresh air, the wildflowers in the spring and the independence that comes with a place relatively untouched by humankind and steeped in natural beauty. I know that my Grandma's heart, similar to mine, leapt at the sight of nature and sang a peaceful song when surrounded by the Valley. For a bit she ran an art gallery - encouraged to create and share more beauty in a place her soul felt free. My Grandma enjoyed painting, hiking, singing, playing card games and at some point she picked up the harmonica and fly fishing. I like to imagine her learning a new skill as the hours widdled away with the backdrop of Baldy keeping her company into the evenings and through dusk or on a bright sunny day running through the fields that this special place holds. She enjoyed her crosswords and the occasional coors light (although if you ask me, I remember her being a martini gal.) I'm not sure when these habits were picked up. I feel that this was a point in my Grandma's life where she found herself in a way that not everyone has the chance to. Perhaps creating this space and time was the most empowered act of her life because it allowed her to become the person she would be in as I will call, her second act.

While in Sun Valley she met a locally famous and later world famous sculptor who was fourteen years her junior that proved to be the perfect companion for this period. When I was young I never knew the nature of their relationship because he had become such a dear family friend over the years. Even after he passed, each of the grandchildren inherited pieces of his art which still reside in my home today. I feel that Rod was perfect for my Grandma in that time because his art was the embodiment of her creativity coming to life. He created large scale (and sometimes smaller scale) copper sculptures which captured the sophistication and ruggedness that embodied the Sun Valley spirit. There is a reason his art is still staged in many prominent places, such as the Sun Valley Airport, today. I think he allowed a space for Margaret, my Grandmother's full name, to be Margaret. I love thinking of the freedoms she must have felt in this period. Sun Valley for many years continued to hold a special place in her heart and she would make many pilgrimages back to it over the years.

After Sun Valley she did a brief stint in the Methow of Washington which I think allowed for her to begin to transition back to life here. The Methow has its own magic and again, I could write about it for many days. For now I will leave it at it a place where the wildflowers grow abundant and the warm hot days turn into evenings dripped in happiness while playing in fields. Her oldest daughter had at that time decided to move there to raise her family and my Grandmother followed to be closeby. (*side note - I know have two generations of family in the Methow as a couple of my cousins are raising their families there.)

Once my Grandmother returned to Western Washington, she took up teaching young minds and shaping young spirits at Sunny Beam. (As I'm writing this I'm seeing the correlation to sun, which some of my friends have noted in me. A quote one friend shared is: “There are some people who have sun inside them. It’s hard to explain. Their presence just brightens, it’s not about their beautiful smiles. They have an internal being that sheds light and feels like sun. It’s a calm energy. Inner peace. But most importantly, it’s not wanting anything back in return. It’s sun.” Maybe some element of this is hereditary although it also takes a bit of effort to nurture and protect that peace. I am humbled by the mention of myself in this context.) My Grandma lived with her youngest daughter and the daughter's seventh grade sweetheart who were new parents, just over twenty years in age, and raising their two sons. She was instrumental in the raising of my cousins and I think fondly of the time we all spent together. Endless days by the lake, laughing, swimming, picking berries in the garden, baking in the kitchen, singing and dance performances, card games, family holidays. These moments were the backbone of my childhood and the love felt in these moments has radiated throughout my life. My aunt and uncle have been together for over half a century years and still live in the same home where my Grandma helped them raise their children (fun fact - I now live in her the unit they built for her!)

At some point along the way (the details lost on me because I was not yet born or so young), she met Chuck who was her longtime life partner and who I would think of as a surrogate Grandpa for many years. I spoke at Chuck's funeral last August and was enlightened by some of the family stories which were told me, one being that he was close friends with Mr. Grohl (the father of the lead singer for Pearl Jam.) Chuck was steady, loving, an accomplished outdoorsmen and a class act who I think of with fondness as I write this. Chuck was one of the founders of the Alpine Skiers club in Washington and even into his old age, he became a part of the ancient skiers group. I love thinking of all the activities him and my Grandma did together and I hope one day to find a companion as sure hearted, well-rounded and fun as Chuck.

They settled into their snowbird lifestyle together. Hiking, skiing, spending time at his cabin at Mt. Rainier. Somehow with all the activities and travel they did, I always felt my Grandma was there and available to me as a kid. I don't know how Grandma's do that - they are amazing! They would spend time down in Palm Springs as well, playing tennis, swimming, golf. The grandkids always loving to visit and welcome for a swim. Sun Valley never ceased to be an important part of their lives. The grandkids also following them down there. I learned to ski on Dollar and eating honey butter at Warm Springs lodge. They would go to watch the Sun Valley Jazz festival each year.

I suppose it was rather fitting that when my Grandma passed, it was while she was the Jazz Festival, doing something she loved in a place that she held so dear. In a place where she really found her stride in life. Years later, when she passed and my grown, college age friends found out, a handful of them reminisced on the Sunny Beam days and the good times with “Grandma Marge.” Although she passed in Sun Valley, she was and always will be a Washington girl at heart. Her ashes are spread at Mt. Rainier and just last year we all got together to honor the ten year passing of our matriarch.

Hugging my cousin and his kids under the stars, singing, drinking whiskey, thinking about Grandma. She always loved a good hoot and our warm bellies and big laughs, with her beaming from above, lit up that whole sky that night.

I will forever be grateful to my Grandma for the way she lived her life. It has inspired me, on more than one occasion, to not be fearful to blaze my own trail. For some of us, the call we hear is loud and it is clear. I see much of her in myself and I am honored to call her my Grandmother and now guardian angel.