A Good Friend

When I moved back from New York, an angel came to me in the shape of my dear friend Megan. Megan and I have been friends for many years and have always shared a real relationship. It is the type of friendship where I can authentically be myself and I am never afraid to voice my deepest feelings. By cherishing and respecting the light in each other, we have created a safe space for our friendship to thrive.

Friendships are formed through an unspoken belief in each other. I am confident in the wonderful person Megan is and I know she sees the best version of me. Spending time with her brings out my highest self. The unwavering respect and confidence we have allows our friendship to be where it is. There is no pressure for it to be more or less, as we each know it is perfectly aligned to where it is meant to be. This is a belief we share and there are many other life ideas where we are in agreement. We know we are in agreement because we spend hours philosophizing about such matters. Talking and listening is much of what our friendship is composed of.

Another belief that we share is that is important to make an active choice to be in each other’s lives. Being friends because we are uplifted, understood and energized is more important than being friends out of obligation. Obligation is doing something because of pressure or pre-held notions of how the friendship should be versus loyalty which is something that arises naturally when (1) two people are in alignment (2) two people have the elements listed above and (3) two people choose to be in each other’s lives. In each of my relationships I make a conscious effort to determine if I feel in sync with the person, if they are adding to my life, and if I am adding to theirs, in the way I want to. I examine – is my being enriched through this relationship and is my highest self present?

Another reason it is important to make an active choice to be in each other’s lives is that being involved is important and each person only has a finite amount of energy. Megan and I have shared countless moments together, have exchanged spoken and unspoken acts of showing up and have enjoyed one another’s presence and ached over one another’s pain. I know I can text or call her and she will do her best to listen anytime and give advice when she has the ability to show up as her highest self and the friend I need. Also, importantly, she has some idea of what I’m talking about because she makes an effort to stay in touch consistently. We enjoy being involved and knowing how one another are doing because we care deeply and want to be in each other’s lives.

Megan provides positive, caring and “believe-in-me” vibes that my subconscious internalizes. Our bodies and in turn, our hearts and minds, are intuitive. They pick up on the energies of the people we surround ourselves with and our subconscious processes these energies. Each interaction leaves a small trail on our being which is why it is important to engage in friendships that uplift, expand and bring out our souls rather than hide or bury them. One of the things I love most about Megan is that she encourages me to be in touch with my soul, the purest form of who I am. I encourage her to do the same. A friendship which requires a detachment from oneself is not a friendship, it is a distraction. We have all come across people who ask us to do this and often it can show up in the following way: (1) asking us to give more of ourselves than we are able or assuming they are entitled to more of our energy than they are (not respecting a boundary when it is set) (2) asking us to disengage from our path to support theirs (requiring us to show up in a way we don’t want to in order to have a relationship with them, usually presented under the guise of loyalty, loyalty appears when there is alignment and alignment doesn’t require this type of sacrifice) and (3) asking us to put their needs ahead of ours (the soul does not want or need – it is complete as is- therefore when things are done from a place of soulfulness, neediness is eliminated.)

I can think of two distinct times when I was confronted with the above circumstances and Megan helped to steer me on the right path. Leading by example, she reassured me to listen to my inner voice, trust in myself and know that my heart was pure. Because she saw such goodness in me, it revitalized the goodness and strength I saw in myself. In moments when I was disconnecting from my soul/not following my own words or philosophies above, she brought me back to myself. That is what a good friend does and that is the type of friend Megan is. She is a listening ear, she is a shoulder to cry on, and she is someone to share good news with. She is present, she is engaged and she is supportive. She is trustworthy and consistent. She shows up authentically as herself and she asks you to do the same. She cares deeply and isn’t afraid to show it. She is wise in the advice that she gives and the way that she lives – living by example, she gives herself fully to being a friend, a wife, a teacher, a pet mom, and taking care of herself and her mind/body. She shows up 100% but also knows how to self care. I respect her tremendously and I thank her for the unwavering friend she has been. A refuge for my soul and a safe place, a place to rest and to be uplifted - the little Buddha in me honors the little Buddha in her.